I started to post earlier about how my day was going terribly but how somehow something felt right, at least. And so, let's measure my day:
I had a hard conversation, but it was good that I had it. (neutral)
I locked myself out of my bedroom, and my car keys are trapped inside: implications: cannot get to work, cannot enter bedroom. must use subway. And my landlord isn't around to let me in until this afternoon. Negative 5.
I JUST GOT MY FIRST ACCEPTANCE LETTER FOR LAW SCHOOL: WAKE FOREST, NC!!! positive 10
So, I guess today I am coming out on top.
Sorry for the long delays in posting, I haven't had much to say lately....

All Things New

As many of you know, I have a tattoo of a dove and olive branch. I got this during my first year of college, reasoning that I would never be anti-peace. But as I became more interested in issues of justice, I began to question the appropriateness of that particular symbol. We may recall that the dove was the bird that brought back plant life-- olive branch--to Noah in Genesis, thus indicating that God's flood which destroyed all of humanity except 8 people was over.  After thinking more about that destruction and vengeance I began to explain that my tattoo had come to remind me of the cost of peace, often at the expense of justice. How could a just and all-loving god condemn all but 8 people to death? Was there no redemption for them? But, and new and supposedly better world was being created, and it would never happen again (by flood), so there was peace.I was glad to have that reminder, but I must admit, a little saddened that my God had done that and that I must remember those--dare I say cruel--acts.
But, last night, I was at a Presbyterian service--of all the churches, right!?--and the pastor spoke on re-creation (not the running kind).  He argued that even creation was a re-creation because before God spoke there was the sea. And the sea was chaos incarnate. (Now, this is where is gets confusing between literal and metaphoircal interpretation.) I realized that while I decidedly do not take the creation stories literally, I had, to an extent, been taking the story of Noah and the Ark literally.
But what if we choose to believe in the flood as a flood of chaos, instead of literal water, and the death as a falling into chaos, instead of literal death? The Israelites, like the Presbyterians, were very concerned with order and without the order that God brings through constant recreation (which feels very chaotic) we drown in chaos.
**God, Please send us a booey of your new creation today that we might breathe in your spirit and find hope, joy, and love in this constantly churning and up-heaving world of chaos.

Law Schools and 25k

I am working on law school applications these days and have narrowed the search down to 8 schools:
Northeastern U, in Boston
Wakeforest, in NC
U. Wisconsin
American U. Washington School of Law in DC
Vanderbilt in Nashville
Cordozo Law (Yeshiva U.) in NYC
USC in Los Angeles
UC Davis, in Davis CA (like that wasn't obvious)
I am also going to look at Temple University, located in Philadelphia, PA.
It was hard to narrow it down, but I think I am happy with it. It takes a surprisingly lot work to narrow schools down when you don't care what state they are in, or how good they are. Not that I don't care, I just don't care for the attitude people have about ranks that will mean very little to me when I am trying cases. I hope that my skills as a lawyer are seen as the criterion for judging me as a lawyer, rather than the institution's name on the diploma. I recognize the correlation between ranking and teaching skills, but I can learn anywhere, and I will learn best in a hands on location. That is why my strongest criterion were: clinical programs, student publications and organizations, and student: faculty ratio. I had to eliminate a lot of "high ranking" schools because they fell short in these categories. I looked at over 50 schools. It was a long process. I say all this because I don't want to have to further defend my choices, but would be happy to send anyone who requests a list of all the schools i reviewed and their rankings and notes in each category; I took the search very seriously.
Now, on to a  very different note. As all of you probably know, the reason I want to be a lawyer is becasue of my experience in the California Institution for Women, volunteering in an organic garden. The organization that started the garden, Claremont Colleges Criminal Justice Network, is in the running for a grant from Pepsi Corp. for 25 THOUSAND DOLLARS (pinki in mouth, evil laugh)! And we need your support! we have moved from 400th place to 41st! but we need to be in the top 10 to win. So, you can vote every day from your email (each email if you have multiple), and you can:
Text* 103652 to
Pepsi (73774)
*Standard text messaging rates apply.   
You can vote every day until Nov. 30th. So, please, please please, please vote early, vote often and vote many times.
Part of the reason Pepsi uses this method to choose the recipients is because getting people to vote every day and multiple times a day shows that the organization can do large scale work and movement building. We need your help!

Here is the website:
http://www.refresheverything.com/cultivatingdreams
While you CAN technically vote for 10 different projects everyday, keep in mind that if you vote for a program in the same category as Cultivating Dreams which is ahead, you will kind of be canceling-out your vote. Wink!
Thanks!

So angry

I recognize that I have a hard job. But I must have envisioned working in a school in Philadelphia to be a bit more like working in a school more like in a school in Bellefontaine, Ohio. I certainly knew that it would not be like church camp; not much is like church camp. But it is painfully different. Today three sets of kids got into fights. Seventh graders, ok, kind of expected. Fifth graders, alright, I guess. But third graders?!?! Really?
The kids are so angry. I asked the 7-8th graders why they were so angry and they said it is because they are Black. Immediately after one guy said that we are all family: the entire world. Just moments after he said this he got into a fight.
The kids don't really respect or fear me, which I understand. I won't respect or fear me either. But I think they mostly like me, they just can't handle their emotions. They are just so angry.
Even the kids who recognize this, one requested leaving the room to cool down, (which I allowed, but he didn't end up cooling down) can't get passed it.
I don't do anger well. So, what do I do?

Lucky Me

I'm pretty sure that I  am one of the luckiest people ever. Things seem to just work out for me. I was reminded of this when I got my LSAT score, which was higher than expected! Thanks everyone for your help, love and support, in the LSAT studying process. But, I was reminded of that time right after high school graduation when I totaled my parent's car.
I know, totaling a car is not considered lucky. Especially when it happens on the highway, right? But the circumstances could not have been better. I wasn't in a car accident, just ran out of oil. And so the car started turning off. But I could still steer and use my brakes (no longer powered, but still effective). And so we were half a mile from the exit we were taking and the car can no longer accelerate, but I needed to slow down, not speed up. It was perfect. I got to the end of the exit ramp and came to a complete stop. And couldn't move from there. So, we moved the car into a parking lot beside the exit. Did I mention that I was with 6 other able-bodied people, and another car? So, moving the car wasn't even that tough. And the restaurant, our destination, was just on the other side of the exit. So I called my parents, and we ate Mexican food. Moral of the story, luckiest car being totaled situation ever.
Now, I am told that getting your first parking ticket is a right of passage for Philadelphians. And so I had to get my first ticket, and I did. Now, I did let the meter expire for a little while, and kind of expected a ticket. So, when I got back to my car I was not surprised to find a ticket on my windshield. So, I took it and looked at it and noticed that the time that it was recorded was during the time that i had paid for. In Philadelphia the meters print a small receipt that you post in your windshield. So, I had proof that I had paid during that time. Thus I am contesting the ticket.
So, as long as I have to endure bad things: broken down cars, parking tickets, 7 hour standardized tests, I seem to get the best possible version of it. Thus I am super lucky.
Not only am I lucky when bad things happen, but I am lucky with all the good things I have been blessed with and great people I have been blessed to know.

Walking

I really enjoy this city. It is so walkable. It is flat, until Pittsburgh, and has side walks everywhere, unlike Claremont's neighbor's. So yesterday I went for a walk/jog and this morning I calculated it. 3.9 miles. I am pretty happy with the walk. I saw some new parts of the city and a nice park and a thrift store and a nice grassy knoll. Today I am only a bit sore.
But most of all it is good practice for the Memory walk which I will be walking in.
As many of you know, my grandfather has Alzheimer's Disease and can hardly remember his own children. It is really sad and hard. And it, of course is not just my grandfather who has this, nor my family struggling with this disease; there are more than 5 million individuals currently living with the disease.

So, as the Memory Walk website encourages me to say: Alzheimer’s disease is the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States today. I’m moving to stop it – and I’m asking you to join me!

So, if you would be SO KIND as to help me out with a small (or large) donation I would really appreciate it!

I am walking with my job, US Dream Academy, and we are actually going to be walking with the students, mentors and parents! It's gonna be a whole fan-dangled event!

Search for me on this site and please if you feel so moved, donate. Thanks in advance.

http://memorywalk2010.kintera.org/faf/search/searchParticipants.asp?ievent=338720&lis=0&kntae338720=0353B974797C473BA210A04A60F9D64A

People in Philadelphia

Someone told me that Philadelphia is the 5th largest city in America. There are a lot of people here and most of them are strangers. It is obviously different from my childhood home, of church camp because so many people are strangers. But it is also really different from Claremont because there most people were somehow connected to me through the colleges. Even a business major at CMC had something in common with me, from the get-go, even just the cafeteria food. To a certain extent, I could pretty much trust them. 
I am told I should not feel that way in Philadelphia. But I kind of do.
I figure that whenever you choose not to get to know someone, aren't you missing the possibility to meet someone who could change your life for the better. While i recognize that it goes both ways, he or she could change it for the worse, but let's be optimistic. 

So, there is a thin line that I have been walking: on one side is meeting people and on the other is maintaining my safety. And I may have stumbled on both sides of the line at times. I was told that I still need some parenting and more maturity, and this might be the kind of thing that, that person was talking about. But, I am getting better at balancing it. 

And I am enjoying the adventures and stories meeting new and  often very different people is affording me.  Still safe, still alive, still having fun.

First Post!

This fall is full of firsts, my first blog post on my first personal blog. My first time living away from people i know and love. My first time living in a city without "adult" family there top support me. My first year out of college, my first job. My first rent payment and car. My first time primarily using public transit to get around. There are a lot of firsts, and many which I'm sure I am forgetting. But in a lot of ways it doesn't feel that different.
I still have a housemate, and I have found new "adults" to support me if I need it. I took the LSAT last weekend (hopefully for the first and last time) which was reminiscent of school in that I studied et cet era. Liz, a friend from Scripps, took it too! That was something I am accustomed to. Living far from my old friends is still pretty nromal, and working on criminal justice related stuff is constant.
This fall I took an Americorps position working at the Dream Academy, an after school program, and at the National Resource Center on Children and Families of the Incarcerated. There I am working with children and doing research, respectively; those are both things I have been doing for a while.
So, this is my first blog post, I hope to write consistently on a bunch of topics in my life. We'll see how I do. Please feel free to comment on my posts or email me directly.